Friday, August 30, 2013

Topps team photographs..........wait, who, what, why?

I get that sometimes Topps team photo day has never been a perfectly executed effort on all the team cards but sometimes you have to wonder what the photographer was asked to shoot and what he was ordered to shoot and who was to be included in the photograph:

A perfect symmetrical team shot ruined by an insurance salesman.

Judging from the background this shot was taken in heaven.

And you also have the following quirks:

  • A bat boy on the right thinking he should be the featured person in the photo(maybe he is just floating away be cause he is in heaven)
  • An empty seat(copied by somebody else in 2012)
  • A person on the left who looks like he photobombed the picture
They should have worn the shorts instead.

Unless he was cooking the books for the owner this guy should never appear in anything related to baseball:

I think he did my taxes one year!

Have to say that the trainer on the right looks like what a professional trainer would look like.

Not only does the guy in blue ruin the picture but Topps figured since he was in the picture they didn't need a face shot of the the manager for the inset photo.

There are simply too many things going on in this picture to count.

Here's a few:

  • The guy on the left appears to be wearing a kilt. What exactly does he have in his pockets?
  • The man next to him looks to be ready for a speed dating meeting
  • The guy in the brown shirt who goes to halloween parties as Stephen King
  • And a young Tony Siragusa on the far right
  • A bat boy on the bottom right who looks sixteen but appears bigger than a few of the players
And, of course, the tepee in the background. Hit it through the opening and win a..............well, you guess what they would have won. I'm not touching that one.

Here are the Mets flying in the missing man formation down front.

In 1986 that man would have been Dwight Gooden as, while he was busy getting all coked up in a housing project, his fellow teammates were taking part in the victory parade coming off their World Series win.

I can't imagine what thoughts were going through his head, since he was watching it live on tv as he was removing millions of brain cells from his head.

Also, that's a beautiful telephone pole on the left.

Anyone else really like the Mets unis nowadays? The dark blue ones really pop.

This is a rather close cropped photo.

I imagine they were trying to get Bernie the Brewer's cabin, slide, and beer mug into the shot.

But who knows what was going on at the bottom of the picture that was cropped out? What if they had the world's longest anaconda stretched out? Or maybe the guys down front are wearing high heels?


The older gentleman on the left was actually just included to hide an embarrassing stain on the pants of the player behind him.

Hats? We don't need no stinkin' hats!

I think this photo shoot was sponsored by a shampoo or hair care company.

You have four full blown afros, four white guys with afros, Mike Schmidt is doing his Brawny paper towel guy impression, and Pete Rose is sporting his tupperware bowl cut.

You have two trios of guys bookending the group. They could have just knelt down in front. It's not like you get grass stains from Astroturf.

And why is the Phillies name on the scoreboard off center? The photographer could have moved ten feet to his right to remedy that.
Maybe he was a Pirates fan and wanted to get their logo into the shot.

Apparently taken at Busch Light Stadium.

Once again, moving ten feet to the right would have centered the hotel a bit better.

Wait, what do I care? It's a Cardinals card.

Posing in front of a building that has probably been repurposed into a highway somewhere.

I always wanted to walk around the outer concourse there but they didn't wait for me. You took my dream away, Seattle!

Seeing as how they chose the parking lot for the shoot I assume even the team hate that place.

And the guy in the yellow shirt looks like a Padres guy.

And finally we have the Padres.

Here we have the Padres posing in front of a bunch of Republicans standing around and doing nothing. Kidding! I think they are indeed elephants.

Good thing they didn't shoot in front of the Lion's cage. Those are a lot of cheeseburgers to put in front of a pride of lions.

And is that a giant green mamba ready to lunge at that player top right?

Quick tip: If you are owned by a large fast food establishment and look like their signature menu item do NOT conduct any activities at a zoo!
Baseball has a DL, not a PUP(physically unable to perform) list!

Who, what, why? Who knows!


  1. You do have to admit, those Padres uniforms were pretty unique in their days. I alsmost wish they'd go back to the mustard and brown rather than their current "Dodgers/Brewewrs" blue.

    1. Me too.

      I call their unis seafoam.

  2. Looks like 4 of the Padres didn't get the wardrobe memo that day!

    1. I guess they saw it as their time to shine.......or whatever that color is.


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